If You’re Waiting for the Perfect Time, It’s Now

Perfect Time

Honesty time:

There is no future time or place when everything is going to be perfect for you to finally ‘be happy’.

I know your reaction to that sentence – “but she doesn’t know my situation”. Ruh Roh. Once more with feeling:

There is no future time or place when everything is going to be perfect for you to finally ‘be happy’.

Are you waiting for that one thing (or five things) in your life to be “fixed” before you can be happy?

Maybe your “I’ll be happy when” is one of these:

“I’ll be happy when I’m skinny”

“I’ll be happy when I’m healthy”

“I’ll be happy when I’m rich”

“I’ll be happy when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner”

Maybe something else? We’ve all got one. I’ve got about 5 of these swirling around in my head.

I have been waiting for my “I’ll be happy when” for the last 18 years. I’ve been seeing a tapping practitioner (more on that another time) to help me work through the emotional side of healing, and the other day she asked me a completely jarring question:

“When was the last time you remember being happy? Not just little pockets of happiness, but a long stretch?”

I stopped, tried to think, and then I burst out into tears, “I can’t remember a time”.

That realisation shocked me.

What a waste of a life, wishing for things to be different. But we’re too busy being ‘in it’ to see how much of our life we’re not living.

You know what the sad irony is? If you’re happy and grateful with what you have now, these things tend to come naturally, and with ease.

And what if we flip it around? What if you’re not healthy because you’re not happy? What if you’re overweight because you’re not happy?

Often we spend forever waiting for, or trying to force these things to happen that never do. Or we get what we’ve been wanting but are still left unsatisfied and unhappy, so we move on the the next ‘I’ll be happy when’.

Life itself is imperfect. There will always be something. We will always be striving and reaching – that’s the human condition. To desire. To want something more than we have.

And that’s okay. Striving is good. Putting off your happiness while you wait for that thing to come is not. The magic happens when you can truly accept that there is only now, and work out how you can be happy now. Not some magical future time.

Uhh, yeah. That’s easy to say. But HOW?

Let’s break free together, okay?

1. Catch your self talk

Just being aware of you’re thinking is a great place to start. Everytime I start to go “When I’m…. I’ll….” I stop myself and change my thinking – “how can I be happy now?” or “is there really anything stopping me from doing this now?”.

2. Start a gratitude journal

Every morning just after you wake up, and every night just before you go to sleep write down 3 things you are grateful for.

The sunshine, the morning snuggles with your cat/dog/partner, the amazing food you ate that day, the cool breeze, the work you get to do, that client you love, your beautiful home, your partner, those tomatoes growing in your garden, that yummo smoothie, that amazing book you’re reading, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, baby giraffes (google it, I dare you not to cry). Whatever lights you up.

It’s such a small thing, but eventually you will start to really notice and be grateful for the little things as you move through your day.

 

Did this post resonate with you? What’s your “I’ll be happy when”?

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5 comments on “If You’re Waiting for the Perfect Time, It’s Now

  1. … Hi Shae … nice what you wrote … i googled baby giraffes & passed out … got blown away by the cuteness … my ” i’ll be happy when ” is when i change my self … thank you for your sharing … many happy ‘nows’ to you … love & peace … God Bless … : )

  2. That was me two years ago. I was not happy at all. It used to be, I’ll be happy when I graduate college” I actually found happiness when I started working for myself doing the same thing that I am going to school for…to be a Teacher. Thanks, great article.

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